Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A little hat etiquette


I was in the land of the great unwashed a weekago (a casino). If you wanted to do a study on the sad site of America, go to a casino. Boy do I miss the casinos in Europe, it's nice to see people dressed up and I don't mean their best NY Jets jacket! Anyway, at the casino I met up with my friends for a good dinner. The restaurant is one of the best they have (a steak place, actually pretty good food too) however, there in the middle of the dining room was a few guys wearing their baseball hats. Now I guess in this day and age that that is not a shock anymore, more people would not even notice it, that of course is sad. Now, I did see a bunch on men wearing baseball hats that morning at the breakfast restaurant, I think people thought it was ok because you could order off the menu OR buffet (eww, a buffet) but what makes ANYONE think it's ok to wear a hat at the dinner table of a nice restaurants (were did these people grow up)? Unless outside at a picnic or at a ball game one should remove their hat while dining. Proper table manners were some of the first thing we were taught as toddlers; how did so many people forget?

A quick reference I found was on Ask Andy about clothes (that is were I got the picture about and a few of the quotes below, although the "rules" are generic)

Men, TAKE that hat off! Hats are removed when inside, except for places that are akin to public streets, like lobbies, corridors, and crowded elevators (non-residential). In a public building (where there are no apartments) the elevator is considered a public area.
You may choose to remove your hat in a public elevator, but in the presence of a lady your hat must be removed. A gentleman takes off his hat and holds it in his hand when a lady enters the elevator in any building that can be classified as a dwelling such as an apartment house or hotel.
He puts it on again in the corridor.
A public corridor is like the street, but an elevator in a hotel or apartment house has the character of a room in a house and there a gentleman does not keep his hat on in the presence of ladies.
Hats are removed for the National Anthem, passing of the Flag and funeral processions, outdoor weddings, dedications, and photographs.
Removed hats are held in hand in such a way that only the outside and never the lining is visible.

Maybe this makes me a prude; trust me I'm not, but I think wearing your baseball cap at dinner is an insult to the people you are eating with and all those around you. Sitting down for a social meal is one of the main pillars of civilization, a major thing that separates us from animals, we need to remember that.

20 comments:

Monogram Momma said...

No, most definitely NOT a prude Tod. I am so strict about the hat rules too. I think it's just how I was raised. I remmeber once when my husband came to my parents house one weekend when we were datign in college, he walked in the door with his hat on and my dad literally yanked it off his head and handed it to him and just said "no hats in the house." So I too, do not let my husband or the mini's wear hats in teh house or GOD FORBID at the table! What is wrong with people these days!!

Tod said...

My mom used to do the same thing...

I remember a college professor who said at the begining of the year "Gentleman, look around the room do you see the Green Monster? No?! So this is not Fenway Park, then take your hats off!

Preppy Kiki said...

Tod, I agree with you. Lady hat wearers did you know that if you are wearing a man's hat ie (baseball hat) you too must remove the hat. Ladies are only permitted to keep their hats on if they are fashionable hats, ie weddings, formal head dressings ect. So ladies, if you are at a ball game and the national anthem is playing, guess what, you too must remove that baseball hat. The only time I have trouble decided to remove or not, is when I am wearing a cotton bucket hat, with grosgrain ribbon around the outside band and a fashionable lapel pin to hold the ribbon in place. I usually wear them on rainy days to keep the rain off my hair, (not a huge umbrella fan, I prefer rain coats). Do I remove when entering a building or not? The bucket hat is usually color coordinated with my attire for that day.

Tod said...

Kiki: great point about women and baseball hats!! Yes, ladies you too should follow the hat rules when wearing a casual baseball cap.

In my opinion ladies have a lot more leaway with hats; therefore I would think you could leave your other hat on. For example I see a lot of women with somewhat casual (not baseball caps) hats on in church and it looks fine.

Lisagh said...

Good to know there's still some men out there with manners Tod! I work in a very, very casual Ad Agency... but if I had to give a dollar for every time one of my male co-workers walked in with a baseball cap on, I'd be working for nothing! And get this: one of them, wraps his sunglasses around the hat as well! ACK!

Anonymous said...

It's easy to get exercised about this, Tod, and I would agree with you. Hard to expect manners in the Jabroni-ville of Foxwoods.

Matthew said...

Tod, I love reading your blog and you have recommended some great other links, too. Thanks. You are right on the money. If everyone paid as much attention to detail and manners the world would be a much nicer place!

The EMG said...

Tod...

you are so right on! it starts simply enough with wearing a hat at the table.. next thing you know your putting katsup bottles on the table and staking plates when you clear... I can hear my Mummy's eyes rolling at the thought..

~EG

Kris said...

Applause!! It is great to see that manners are out there! I found myself wearing a baseball cap the other evening as I was entertaining my inlaws for dinner, as I sat down to eat, I realized my rudeness & immediately took off the cap. I can't stand (nor can my hubby) to see youngsters out & about in restaurants sporting a cap. It's just a basic table manner, but so many folks out there don't see it as a problem.

Hats off to no hats!!

Tammy B said...

I was under the impression that a man took off his hat or cap when he entered a building. I was also taught that a man takes off his hat when he passes a church. Where have manners gone?

Argyle Kiwi said...

Tod even though I have no clue as to your appearance, in my mind you just became sexy. The thought of a man taking off his hat at my approach would make me smile and feel extremely feminine. I read your blog to my husband and he said these days there are few ladies and many "females" He said for a real lady he does tip his hat while passing. Guess it is a sign of the times.

Tod said...

Argyle Kiwi...Blush, blush...

Seriously your husband is correct, however we should show all of the fairer sex proper manners maybe they may get the message and teacher their children...

Shari said...

tod, your blog is wonderful and I agree totally with your comments about the hats! I grew up in the south and my grandmother would have a fit if you didn't remove the hats, pull out the chair for the ladies at dinner and so on. I think manners should be a required course in high school.

Circe said...

I think the worst I ever witnessed as far as bad hat manners were when people along the the roads of DC did not remove their hats when Ronald Reagan's casket went by on the horse-drawn caisson.

We tried to pass the word down to remove all hats...but some people have no class.

Tod said...

Sad to see that. No class is an understatement

Tod said...

Sad to see that. No class is an understatement

Anonymous said...

I think it's hilarious that you comment about hat etiquette but do not spellcheck or proofread your words. "were" should be "where", etc etc

Tod said...

You got me! I'm writing a blog. Sometimes I spell words wrong, etc, etc, etc...Big deal. As I said I'm not a prude OR an english teacher. Sometimes I just type and post, sometimes I'll reread the post and try to fix any errors. Mostly life is too short to worry about it.

Anonymous said...

What do ladies do when they were a mans hat? I wear a fedora, and often my hair looks atrocious underneath it. Since it's not a cap am I permitted to wear it inside or at the table?

Anonymous said...

*spelling correction to above
wear no were, sorry.