So I've been watching the Ryder Cup the last few days and it is a quite a disappointment for team USA. The Euros are really playing like a team vs the group of individuals of the USA. It reminded me of some news recently about crazy football dads who demand their kids get more time, etc. God forbid anyone understands that there is a team and sometimes putting Jr. On the bench may help the whole team (either for that victory or to help others progress for the future). We all would love to have a Tiger Woods type protege as one of our children. The true is only a few can make it to the NBA/NFL/MLB, etc. We should encourage competitive spirit in our kids, however do not get carried away. Just because your little girl is great at soccer in the 1st grade, chances are she will not love it as much in the next few years and not make the Olympic team.
I'm no "everyone should win" guy. I think that is actually WORSE than pushing your kids too much. Humans love to win, win at work, win at weekend golf; win at the weekly poker game. And that all comes from healthy competition as a child. Don't lose that! BUT don't try to live your fantasies through your kids. Not every kid wants to spend 40 hours a week practicing a sport at the age of six.
5 comments:
We win!!! (Sorry Tod)!
But your post is a good one, which begs the question when to push and how much should one push one's precious kid. With our competitive London private school system this is a question I wrestle with on a weekly basis. I would love a 'Tiger Woods' child, but should I be a 'Tiger Woods' parent? Thats a tough one.
Europe played great...
Amen. I am so tired of the uberparents yelling every move their little pumpkin should be doing from the sidelines. They need to get their own hobby.
Ah, the USA just can't seem to beat Europe ..
Tod, I was just having this same conversation this morning at the playground. My neighbor & I were chatting about how we worry about the pressures on our little boys to succeed in sports. I want my guy to play sports because he wants to participate in the activity & if he's great ... GREAT & if he's not, but still has fun, even better. It's hard not to get caught up in it, some adults do get carried away with the competition. I know I will have a lot to look forward to in that arena, but already, I am hearing about the pros/cons of the best preschools for my toddler..which one preps them better in the academic arena, social settings, etc, etc... YIKES!!!
My mom always said that she refused to be a "stage mom" and wouldn't let me model or act or do anything professionally as a child.
Meanwhile, by the time I was 7, she had put me in three dance classes a week, 2 gymnastics, piano, flute, swimming, and tennis.
I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast and she was NOT supportive of that..but I have to wonder..was she trying to KILL me???
Every time a coach would try to make them alter my diet or restrict anything, she rebelled..saying this was all for fun. But how much fun really was it for me?
I LOATHED swimming, flute, piano, and tennis. She just wanted me to be "well-rounded."
Now I don't play an instrument, hate tennis, and have a fear of drowning.
I will say that it was her influence that led me to become a college cheerleader though. Without the gymnastics and dance training I would never have been good enough.
So I think it is important to listen to your kids and pick what THEY like to do, instead of what you WOULD LIKE them to do.
My mom wanted to be a pro tennis player/ballet dancer/piano player...my sister ended up being talented at all three. But her enjoyment was taken away by the fact that she didn't choose them for herself.
It is a balance so that kids do not get burned out and grow to loathe and resent the things you want for them.
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